Dear Tallulah -
I'm so excited about your upcoming visit to my little corner of the world. You'll be happy to know that I have decided on a main course for our dinner...but have to give credit to my idol Martha Stewart for her suggestions and access to her exclusive fish hatcheries located world wide.
I will be offering a Chilean SeaBass, caught in 52degree waters. Instead of the stressed and tradional "hook" caught variety, ours will have been actually lured into the boat. I will infuse it with a tarragon butter sauce while it is still alive and can appreciate it. I intend to pan sear it immediately after reading to it from the Canterbury Tales.
Kevin wants me to incorporate Bacon somewhere in the meal. I hesitate to put it in the salad since once you add bacon, it's no longer a salad really....just a little treasure hunt among all that annoying green shit. No doubt bacon finds lettuce dubiously annoying to get around while traveling your veins, seeking an artery to block. "What is that? A piece of lettuce!?! Out of our way, C'mon 'bits....we're going for the main ticker." Kevin currently thinks bacon bits are just the fairy dust of the food world. I tried to serve a baked potato last night and it wasn't going over well.....until Bibbity Bobbity, Bacon....and forget the fish, the potato became the entree. It is amazing tho...give a pig an apple and it makes Bacon...how great is that. Beats the whole give a woman sperm and she makes a baby thing....when babies come out smoked and ready to fry up nice and crispy, I'll be the first in line to donate of myself.
I am also stumped over dessert at the moment. I was trying a cake recipe earlier and it just dawned on me.....if you add flour to water, you have glue. Add some eggs and sugar, you have cake....but, what happened to the glue?!. I'm just not comfortable with that at the moment. Perhaps Courtney will volunteer desert again. :)
So Julia, any food restrictions or real dislikes of yours or Kurts,?, please let me know. Courtney can't have eggs and is off salmon and Dan can't have strawberries, and neither will eat meat purchased anywhere white trash associated like Walmart.... so I figured while I am already operating an allergy clinic out of my kitchen, I should extend you the courtsey as well.
Only two weeks now, so I'll see you soon.
xoxox
Steve
Ch Ch Ch Ch Changes - The End Of Elementary School
10 months ago
Rolling in the aisles funny: (1) the 2nd paragraph, leading up to and including the main ticker punch line, and (2) the allergy clinic comment! The 3 general response check buttons there now are okay, but... it would be REALLY cool if a person reading your posts could press a button right on the spot where they burst out with laughter while reading. Then you could really get a true feel for how well you're doing. See the first sentence above for the places I'd be pushing that LOL button. Write on!
ReplyDeleteOK, the image of the smoked baby might have been a bit munch. However, according to Eddie Izzard, they taste of chicken, so there you have it.
ReplyDeleteHere's a question - what if you add eggs and sugar to Elmer's glue ? Will you get cake? You should try it - let me know how it turns out.